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| seattle newspapers, shaved, bbw, strap ons, news, moviedatabase, sex shops, 2, information, big fat sex pics, monster, boy, digifreq, won't, coworkers, patches, and, uk, wiktionary, | And the last thing I'll see in this world is a shoddily painted corndog, two feet from my face. Then the story will be linked on Fark, and people sitting in cubicles all around the world will read it and laugh and laugh and laugh. I just know it. -- I was sitting here a few minutes ago and fantastic started smelling Band-Aids. And there's no explanation for it whatsoever. Strange. fantastic Do you think I'm having a stroke? -- Clive Bull was talking about underwear yesterday, and I finally had to turn it off. fantastic People were calling in and relaying their deeply-held undergarment opinions, and after a while I started to feel a little sick to my stomach. The final straw was an old gravel-voiced cab driver who said he likes to wear a basic white brief, because of the support it provides him. So that was that. I had to crank up the Rocktober channel at Accuradio, and shotgun a 3 Musketeers bar to recover from that shit. |
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| And they also mentioned something about keeping goldfish in a sex shops round bowl. Supposedly it makes the fishies go blind(?!), and they want the selfish bastards with their brazen and irresponsible round bowls dealt-with harshly by the authorities. (Coming this fall to sex shops NBC: Law & Order: Bowl Squad!) I'm not making any of this up. It sex shops was right there on the local newscast, snuggled between the standard reports about sink holes and catastrophic house fires. I'm almost certain of it. -- And speaking of local news... A couple of weeks ago I saw a report about a runaway candy apple stand on Interstate 80. A truck was pulling it, the thing broke free and careened out of control, and caused several minor accidents. That's probably the way I'll go out, you know. I'll be minding my own business one day, driving down the road and singing along to Cheap Trick, when suddenly I'll look up and see a goddamn carnival trailer coming straight towards me at an accelerated clip. |
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