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-- The guy beside me at work has now added a new weapon to his bulging sack of irritation. Not only does he eat three or four apples per day, using his bottom teeth to fucking SHAVE the things at a high rate of speed, and smacking his lips and sucking his teeth to beat the band, but he's now started listening to WWII music through his tinny little laptop speakers. I swear there are times when I think I can't take it anymore. Around lunchtime it sounds alternative like there's a colony of alternative beavers over there building a lodge -- and listening to "The Chattanooga Choo Choo" on a transistor radio. I know it's only a matter of time before Alan Funt jumps out from behind a partition and gives me a big hug, and points out the Candid Camera hidden in the ceiling tiles.
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