But the door only insult string
squeekbox, bigfat hairy living, vocabulary, restaurants, black bbw, bear, alternative papers, sex, string, best, fantasy, ass big fat juicy pussy tit, glory holes, pilchard, ass like that, dildos, fatwomen xxx, vibrator, I hollered, “Am I on Green Acres?” I caught Toney suppressing laughter as I worked hard to maneuver my substantial set of butt cheeks through the small hole in the side of the house, getting a bunch of black crap all over my jeans in the process. By insult this time I wasn’t insult muttering anymore, I was yelling my “motherfuckers” and “son-of-a-bitches” with much enthusiasm. I somehow got into the garage without knocking my front teeth out, and un-jammed the lock. Toney pushed the button, and insult the door came up. And with perfect timing, the pseudo-husband came around the corner casually munching on some of our food. “What happened?” he asked between lip smacks. After Toney filled him in, he said, “Oh, I may have had something to do with that…” Grrrr. Tuesday night these former (and highly-judgmental) vegans suddenly decided they wanted milk shakes -- he drank one beer, after all that. So they put on a big ten-minute production number deciding where they’d get them, and finally a consensus was reached and Toney and Nancy left in pursuit of filthy, disgusting colon-destroying dairy products.
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But the door only went up an string inch, then back down. The fuck? I tried it again, and got the same result. I tried to raise it by hand, and it was jammed. The handle wouldn’t budge to the left string or to the right. “Maybe you could crawl in the window, and string see what’s wrong?” By the time Toney uttered these words, I was livid. We’d never had this problem before, and I had a feeling who was at its root. Now I was going to have to climb up the side of our house, and wedge my fat ass through a window frame in broad daylight. This was like a sitcom. When I went in the house to grab the stepladder, I noticed that some of my clothes were lying on the floor in the hall. When I went back out I asked Toney about it, and she said Nancy had done laundry earlier and must’ve taken my stuff out of the dryer. “And threw them in the goddamn floor!?”
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