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“No, it came from a Target store in Georgia,” I replied, “Atlanta, Georgia.” They kept riding round and round, trying to be menacing. “Why’d you go to Georgia to buy a bike?” one of them sneered, and I told him they’re young ass a lot cheaper down there. More silent circling. Eventually the one with young ass the Osama young ass bin Laden “Wanted Dead or Alive” t-shirt told me he’d built his bike. Then he held up his hands to show me how dirty they were. “Today?” I said. “Yeah,” he answered. Then they rode off, presumably to find someone more interesting to fuck with. Back in my day we would’ve thrown apples at a fat man on a bicycle. Kids today just ain’t got no style… -- Earlier in the week I came back from lunch and there was a message on my phone that said, “Hey cocksucker, call me. I’ve got something to tell you about the Stanley Cup.” At first I thought it was my boss taking it to the next level, but it was Mark Maynard. Apparently the Stanley Cup, the actual Stanley Cup itself, is out on tour, and made a stop in Ann Arbor where Mark lives.
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