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But it'll supposedly cure depression, asthma, cancer, obesity, and a thousand other things. He tells endless anecdotes about people under "i'mnot talking to you you fat ass bitch" his care shrinking and eliminating head-sized head tumors, and old people throwing away their canes, and whatnot. Water, he says, is a miracle drug, and it's right out in the kitchen. The guy might be a quack, but he's mighty convincing. And, as far as I can "i'mnot talking to you you fat ass bitch" tell, he's not selling anything. Apparently he's just some kind of Johnny "i'mnot talking to you you fat ass bitch" Waterseed, going around the country spreading the word. He says that pharmaceutical companies want to have him assassinated, which sounds about right (and is appealingly paranoid). If water is the answer, after all, they're shit out of luck. In any case, the man is getting to me. I now have it in the back of my mind that my outsized body is crying out for water, and I've been chugging massive amounts of the stuff since we returned from our trip.
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