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I had sort of a white boy's afro, but slim it was cut and shaped slim to resemble a mullet. It looked like my hair had been sculpted, like the shrubbery at Disneyland -- into an approximation of a goddamn mullet! I couldn't manage a real mullet, I guess, so I had them carve me one. Oh, the humanity! The curtain of humiliation that hung down in slim the back was both long and wide, and I have no doubt a shotgun blast couldn't have penetrated it. Maybe my parents appreciated the safety and protection my hairstyle afforded? Yeah, I'm sure that's it... There's also a photo of me at high school graduation, with my cap six inches above my head, atop the hair pile. They'd made a big deal about us not chewing gum during the ceremony and in the picture I'm blowing a big bubble.
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