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I'm not making any of this up. Sunshine huge wanted to show us the river that runs past their apartment, so we all trudged down the bank amongst the poison ivy and tick colonies. Translucent One's feet slipped out from under him and he got mud on his hands and pants, which touched off something like I've never witnessed huge before. He began making noises like when you dial-up to the internet, and speaking in different voices. No joke, he sounded like huge that guy on the Police Academy movies, and waving his arms and shit. I was preparing myself for the chanting of "Redrum! Redrum!!" to begin. And this frenzy lasted for at least ninety minutes. He got frickin' mud on his pants! But then I reminded myself that his dad was across town huddled beneath an exit ramp, shivering in his own waste, because of brisk winds, or whatever.
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