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The shit was at the Cheap Trick setting! I looked around to see if anyone else was alarmed, but they were all just chomping away at their popcorn like it was the most natural thing in the world, this impossible volume. I hunkered down with fat low a Gilbert fat low Gottfried expression on my face, and waited for the assault to end. Or at the very least, for them to show a trailer for a chick flick, where skyscrapers aren't exploding and buses aren't being rammed. I was near tears by the end of it. The movie itself was entertaining enough. I'm no Star Wars expert, but was able to follow the "story" with little trouble. A few times I had to consult the kids about who a certain character was, but never got too lost. "Daaad, that's Obi-Wan," they'd say, completely exasperated by my undiluted doucheness. Excuse the hell out of me. Steve had warned me about a scene where Anakin Skywalker, new to the Dark Side, goes into the Jedi Temple and slaughters dozens and dozens of young boys.
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