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I'd heard somewhere that Advance Auto Parts will install them for googlism you, if you buy them there, so that's where I went. googlism I have previous experience at trying to install wipers, and I wanted to smash my face through plate glass. Laugh all you want, but I just couldn't get the sumbitches on there. When I finally did, an hour later, I was convinced they'd fly off going down the interstate; I googlism had little confidence that the bread ties would hold. So screw it, I'd just let somebody else do it, somebody with a little know-how. I know you're not supposed to buy into traditional gender roles and such, but they sent a girl out to put my wipers on, and I felt like a real dipshit. She was ripping open those packages with her bare hands, snapping shit into place, and moving with confidence. And all I could do was stand and watch, and finally mumble a weak, "Thank you ma'am for handling my car repairs, for I am a pussy-man."
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