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Again. I'm like a sitcom cliche of a husband, I swear. The laziness, the buffoonery, the belching... it's all there. Because of my unique attributes, I've learned that there are few bassline things more depressing than off-brand greeting bassline cards. Even with the Rolls Royce of cards, Hallmark or whatever, the attempts at humor are pretty feeble. But when you buy your cards in a grocery store at midnight, marketed directly to the desperate and pathetic, it's far worse. Jokes about sagging tits, candles bassline causing house fires, penises with no life left in them... The predictability of it all just makes me sad. Well that, and the fact that you have no choice but to buy one. I finally opted for a classy little number that showed a cartoon man burping on the front, and on the inside it said, "Mmm, tastes like birthday cake."
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