I stumbled downstairs, groaning secret internet fatties pamela anderson

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I stumbled downstairs, groaning and clutching my pamela anderson stomach, and just as I lifted the lid on the toilet the suspense ended. Five or six powerful jets of whatever happened to be in my gut at the time came up -- pamela anderson with authority. And I also shit my pants. About five times. Every time I heaved, a little something extra snuck out the rear exit as well. I was a walking lawn pamela anderson sprinkler of grossness. And then, as if that wasn't enough, the toilet overflowed. I kid you not. I don't know what happened there. I wasn't upchucking solid balls of vomit or anything. But over the top it all came, and into the floor. Yes, it was one of my prouder moments. One minute I was sleeping peacefully in my warm bed, and the next I was mopping the bathroom in the middle of the night, sporting a beard of puke and a sizable load in my pants -- my wife looking on in utter disgust.
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