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I thought he was a great president, which was another of my dirty little secrets. Growing up in a Democrat household, in a Democrat town, in the middle of a Democrat state, you can't really go around admitting to such blasphemy. But it's true. I remember when Jimmy Carter was running this country, and it wasn't a pretty sight. That big-toothed no fatties funny-talking wuss was a disaster in no fatties the White House. By the time he finished, the entire nation was on suicide watch. When he was running for re-election against Reagan, I was no fatties very confused. I remember thinking, "Now let me get this straight, I'm supposed to hope for another four years of that crap?" But I'm a rebel, a punk, a free-thinker not bound by society's expectations. I was a modern-day James Dean really, with Bert Convy hair. I bucked the considerable generations-old peer pressure I was experiencing and, um, supported a Republican. Secretly, anyway. I'm ashamed to admit that I was rebel without any balls.
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