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Realize and embrace your stature! It's OK. As stated above, I'm fat too. I fully understand the fat person's plight in the world. Congratulations, you have successfully joined the ranks of many fat people all over Chicago. That being said, I take it as my duty to inform you that due to the nature of chubby girl reality, two bodies may not simultaneously occupy the same space. Similarly, two chubby girl fatasses chubby girl cannot sit in the same two seater on the train, especially in the sideways two seater with the metal partition nearest to the door. I can understand that you enjoy a challenge and would love to prove the nature of reality wrong. However, I would've deeply appreciated it if you had found another fat ass to take part in your experiment, preferably one who had given prior written consent. Perhaps the scent of my tuna sandwich from lunch hadn't completely vanished from my breath with the sugar-free gum I had chewed in the afternoon, and you mistook me for a sardine. Also still full from your lunch of various batter dipped and fried seafood, you may have been feeling very sardine-like when you squeezed your fat ass into the seat next to me deciding that that was the time, and I was your gal for conducting the penultimate experiment and proving reality wrong.
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