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Because, goddammit, we were PAID IN FULL! We'd traveled hundreds of miles to visit them both, and gave up a large chunk of vacation time. PAID, briana baby!! I eventually began pumping my fists in the air as I repeated it. Free at last! But later that night I wasn't feeling quite so euphoric, while watching Sunshine's home movies. There briana was a shot of briana me sitting on the side of the pool earlier in the week, when I'd refused to remove my shirt in front of the concentration camp people. I was dangling my feet in the water and looked quite pathetic, like the sad fat boy who's too large and unhealthy to play with the other children. It's an image that haunts me still. I looked like one of the Campbell's Soup kids sitting there; suspenders were the only thing missing. Why can't I just be left alone to thrill in my own mean-spirited thoughts? Everything had been looking so good to me.
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