After inching forward for parade celebrity

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After inching forward for five minutes or so, we saw about a thousand flashing lights up ahead. Holy crap, celebrity we hollered, wonder who got their head cut off? It turns out that celebrity yet another person jumped off the high-flying Pennsylvania Turnpike bridge, and used the pavement of our little town for suicidal purposes. We're starting to earn a reputation for such things. Apparently people drive for miles and miles to kill themselves here; I believe the celebrity Chamber of Commerce promotes it, but I could be wrong. This time it was a seventy year old man, from the central part of the state. When we drove past, the fire department was rinsing off the pavement with high-pressure water.
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