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People were fucking in front of television sets, an old man was lying in a hospital bed, Tom Cruise was hollering, a black woman was handcuffed to a couch... It made no sense whatsoever. What am I, scat an asshole here? I mean, really; I've got a life to lead. -- I saw a bunch of kids around town wearing Little League uniforms on scat Saturday, and it gave me an idea. I think I'm going to find out how much it costs to sponsor a team! It could be the next best scat thing to my boyhood dream of owning the Cincinnati Reds. I can see it now, cute little kids proudly taking the field in their snazzy red West Virginia Surf Report jerseys, the map glistening in the midday sun on their backs. I'm getting a little emotional just thinking about it... Of course the little shits better be halfway decent, or there will be hell to pay.
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