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She wasn't angry when I got booted out of kindergarten for masturbating during nap time and never punished me for drawing pubic hair on chicago's museum of contemporary art my Barbies. We only grew more honest as the years wore on. If it chicago's museum of contemporary art were 1 a.m., she'd know where I was, whom I was with and (more or less) what I was doing. She was quick to remind me throughout high school that it was OK if I liked girls more than boys and wasn't a lick surprised when I chose sex as my newspaper beat chicago's museum of contemporary art in college. Word of an online porn-reviewing gig was met with, "Can I watch the DVDs when you're done with them?" That's not to paint my mother as some spandex-clad, boobs-pushed-up-to-there nympho who throws herself at every UPS guy that knocks on the door. She was weirdly conservative when it came to clothes, thinking I wore everything two sizes too small, and always made a point of saying, "You know, you gotta be really careful about AIDS these days.
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