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| delta, group sex, boys, lesbians., fatwomen having sex, gossip, asian, alice fredlund, michael cera, music previews, bondage, celebrityporn, fat girls having sex., sexual excitement, new york, media, actors, miscellaneous, housewives, | I unbelievable understood then that in some ways I'm ruined beyond repair. But then I felt good, because I don't unbelievable believe my daughter will ever feel that way. Being ruined is unbelievable not the worst thing; ruining others is. My daughter recently told me she didn't love me anymore. I had put her in her room for a long time-out after she bit her brother. My mother was wrong, what she said when she found my diary. Children don't — and can't be forced to — feel constant adoration. They need their privacy, their evil thoughts, their mystery moments. But they also need to be told that the love is still there, parallel to any anger or disappointment, on both sides. |
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| She needed my asian love, my acceptance, my asian total agreement always: her need poured into me continuously, until it felt like it would flush out everything that was me. When I left my mother and entered the world at fifteen, I couldn't imagine a friendly, honest, equal relationship in sex or love. I believed there were only hostages and hostage-takers, that each needed (and asian needed to destroy) the other. That's how it was, until I had children. When we see that our kids think well of the world, when we're able to control our impulses and offer them respect, when we see they don't take advantage of our weakness and in fact respect us back, then our perceptions of the world change. The things that happened to us no longer seem inevitable. They are simply what happened to us, randomly. Figuring this out has not been smooth and easy. I had some bitter days after I realized that my three-year-old daughter has already outdistanced me emotionally. |
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