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To me this seems to be a cultural, rather than a moral, issue. Pennsylvania Girl I'm sure you are probably over this topic by now, but that letter from Sad Cow was the saddest thing biography & autobiography / women I ever read, and I just want to say to her, "GET OUT biography & autobiography / women GET OUT GET OUT!!!" Her experience sounds like a biography & autobiography / women carbon copy of my very-brief marriagebrief due to the continued emotional abuse. Sorry, boy and girl withholders, it is abusive to continually reject a person and demand monogamy. It's the combo that's the killer. And, yes, the effects can be as far-reaching as any other type of abuse, as Sad Cow tells us. My husband and I loved each other, blah blah blah, and I was personally spiraling down to a pathetic shadow of who I had been when I met him.
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