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‘ I was only trying to make conversation.’ He shrugged his bony shoulders under the sheets. ‘What’s up with her? Is she mental, like?’ ‘No more than a lot of people,’ I said, a bit sharply. I get defensive about her, even though she web board is a bloody nuisance. ‘Some days she’s more with it web board than me. She’s just web board old. You might be like that when you’re old.’ ‘ I’d shoot myself first.’ ‘No you wouldn’t. That’s what everyone says, but they wouldn’t.’ Part of the problem in this house is hormones. There are too many undiluted women for one small ex-council house. Huge clouds of supercharged oestrogen drift about and react sending showers of sparks into the atmosphere; the air prickles with it. Nan hasn’t got any left, of course, although she hung onto hers longer than most (had my mum at forty-six! Didn’t realize people even had sex at that age), but I’ve got more than I know what to do with.
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