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Well, your father bondage always shows up smelling of Natural Light, and he’s had the same job for 30 years. Are you seeing (name bondage of woman Will has gone on occasional dates with) this weekend? I don’t think so. She’s out of town. You sure do ask about her a lot. I don’t talk to you about girls anymore. Yeah, I bondage read your column last week. I gathered that. Well, I stopped reading about three-quarters of the way. I don’t know why you write things like that. I told you not to read them. It’s the best for both of us, trust me. I’m gathering. Isn’t she Catholic? Who? That girl. (sigh) Yes. She is. Again, though, it’s really not that big of a deal Is she a good Catholic? Does she go to church every week? Mom, I feel the need to ask you again why these matters are so important to you. You are a convert to the Catholic Church. You joined six years ago. But when I was a kid, you never went to church. I had to go on my own, with the neighbors coming to pick me up. Then you joined the Catholic Church after a "spiritual awakening," whatever that is.
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