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On the flip side, if I met someone and shemale I was in his bed, it would be safe. Very strange. I knew I was drinking too much. At the end of my drinking, I saw nothing in the mirror. There wasn't anything shemale to hate; there wasn't anything to love; there was just nothing there. That body drank, drugged, abused his body -- and other people's bodies -- having unsafe sex. The day I stopped drinking, I buried someone. I buried an evil, nonfeeling, abusive person who had died. It's a cliché: I was sick shemale and tired of feeling sick and tired. * * * If you're not in recovery, you really can't relate to what I am going to say: on a Tuesday I went to my first meeting, Thursday saw my first shrink, and the following Wednesday got tested for HIV, because I was going to fix everything and be fine in two weeks.
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