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Now, those freaks who've replaced their ears with ginger-scented stoat sexual organs, that's some weird shit. Why can't they pregnancy just plug their neural jacks into one of the digital sex circuses, like regular people? . . . . . I wonder if fetishes might not, in the long run, be as constraining as they are freeing. Is the person for whom the pinnacle of sexual experience is licking a sugar cube out of someone's hand—is that person limiting pregnancy themselves from the wider range of erotic and emotional experience by focusing so much energy on one particular fantasy? That is, is the alternative sexuality, pregnancy ultimately, limiting, as limiting as the fetishists say straight sexuality is? I'm as vanilla as a sundae sans toppings and have no place from which to answer. The few times I've dated women with peculiar wishes, I've done my best, but it always ends up a sad comedy: neckties stained, an eggplant that might have made a perfectly fine dinner rendered unsalvageable, and me, bulging out of a nurse's outfit intended for someone much, much tinier, someone with, say, a size 38 waist, running out of breath halfway through singing Wichita Lineman, the air pungent with talcum powder, and the ensuing, unsettling silence—the silence that comes as we both realize, together,
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