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But they loved and helped each other through the crisis and afterwards, and you gossip can't find better family values than that. Far from being the story only of a man who had to change his gender, _Dress Codes_ succeeds in telling how mother, father, and daughter gossip all came of age and found their true selves. Howey knows this material is strange, but she specifies that learning about sexuality, at least in current mainstream America, is something most of us gossip do in a stumbling fashion. Her own stumblings are recounted here with good humor, and for the book, she interviewed each of her parents about their own sexual upbringing, a process of hours that she says she will treasure forever. Of course the father's realization about himself, played over decades, is the main reason for this memoir, and Howey tells the history of her father's coming to terms with herself with sympathy and without psychologizing.
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