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| patients, newspaper, dildo sex, hairy pussy, 8th street latina, tennis, sucking, adolescent health, chicago events, life, asian, public affairs, restaurants, incredible, chicagosun times, scared straight!, pornstar, bookstores, 0312422202, | Dad: "Has she ever heard of mutual masturbation?" Me: "yes" Dad: "Mutual masturbation is a great tool to prevent pregnancy and STDs." calendar Me: "I know". Dad: "Mutual masturbation enhances intimacy between partners." Mom: "And opens up the lines of sexual communication." Dad: "Mutual masturbation helps a couple learn more about what they want..." Mom: "Sexually." Me: "We want sex... sexually. That's why I need the condoms." Dad: "Mutual masturbation is a non-invasive way to achieve orgasm." Mom: "you've had orgasms, right?" Me: "yes, and now I would like some via calendar intercourse." Mom&Dad: (laughter) Me: calendar "What?" Dad: "Mutual masturbation is a non-invasive, risk-free way to achieve orgasm." |
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| She encouraged me to have sex with my boyfriend, yet wouldn't buy me any condoms. Because I couldn't drive and didn't want asian to get pregnant, I said to my mom, "Hey mom, will you buy me some contraception?" To which she replied "Have you ever heard of mutual masturbation?" "Damnit mom, just buy me some condoms." "Mutual masturbation is a great way to enjoy genital stimulation w/o risk of STDs or asian pregnancy." "Mom, our genitals have been stimulated already. Now we're going to have intercourse." "Mutual masturbation can be performed on yourself with your asian partner present, or you can 'masturbate' your partner." "Mom, we will continue to explore mutual masturbation, but we're also going to explore heterosexual intercourse. Please buy me some contraception." "We don't need a pregnant girl on our hands. Mutual masturbation would prevent risk of pregnancy." "So will condoms." "Not as well as mutual masturbation." "Mom, seriously. Contraception. Please buy it for me." Then my dad came in and my mom said to him; "We have a girl here who wants to become sexually active." |
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