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Besides, provided that Dad kept shelling out the money for the cosmetic surgery – which became so intense and so drastic, Joshua, Brianna, disability and I could barely tell it was her – Mom was privy to any of her husband’s whims, fantasies, disability and blatant marital indiscretions. On Joshua’s twentieth birthday, after losing a Superbowl bet to Bri, my younger brother had our beer-swigging, adulterating, and increasingly abusive and abrasive father committed. Even before Dad’s first meeting disability with the world renowned psychologist Dr. Schwemp, the two of them began a book-dueling war. Simon and Schuster versus Random House; it was the talk of all the People magazines of the world. Over the period of thirteen and a half months, their individual ghost writers each slaved over competing tell-all-books about our decrepit and long-suffering mother that were so scathing, she was forced to seek sanctuary at the Betty Ford Clinic.
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