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By Will Leitch (paraphrased, with occasional condensing and fictionalization when normal lags in conversation fail to lend themselves to compelling prose. also, when explanations of otherwise understood concepts are necessary, they are added into the conversation as if they actually happened, though, in actuality, they did not) (phone rings) Hey, what’s up, it’s me? Hello. How’s it going? Good. Just finishing up my last day at work. We’re how is video on demand done all gonna go out how is video on demand done to celebrate. For as little as they’ve been paying you, they should buy all your drinks. I don’t think they’ll how is video on demand done do that, Mom Well, they should. Don’t do anything stupid tonight. Mom, I always do everything stupid. Surely you know this by now. I’m taking tomorrow (Friday) off so I can rest up. I don’t want to show up for my first day at the new job smelling of gin. Well, your father always shows up smelling of Natural Light, and he’s had the same job for 30 years.
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