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I took the confrontation route (by my own choice), and it resulted in me not talking to my mother for seven years, and hence a lot of awkwardness and isolation from my family. In the end, I decided I actually did want a relationship with my family again, and to have that I would need to have some kind of relationship with my mother too. So, I set the conditions and reinitiated contact. We can talk about the weather, etc. dan savage (i.e., “normal” stuff), but the ironic thing is that now even if she tries to have dan savage a “serious” talk about our past, it is ME who won’t allow any discussion of her abusive behavior. Why? I simply don’t want to dwell in those moments for the rest of my life.
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