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Here on this cold linoleum floor in these foolsÕ apartment. ThereÕs still juvenile nonfiction so much I wanted to do with my life. I would have wished for a better parting. In the arms of my lover. With my children gathered around. Will they know of my death? Who will inform juvenile nonfiction them? They will wait up tonight, hoping for me to return juvenile nonfiction with the goodies that I promised. They will wait the next day and the next. And they will always wonder after me. And my mother is sobbing now, great sobs shaking her body, tears and snot running down her face, the exhaustion that comes after the execution, the exhaustion of the hangman who weeps after the trapdoor has been pulled, the prolonged involvement leading to the condemnedÕs death has left him susceptible to his most vulnerable emotions. And my mother suddenly scoops me into her arms and sits down in the kitchen chair clutching me tightly. |
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