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He shrugged his bony shoulders under the sheets. “What's up with her? Is she mental, like?” “No more tit than a lot of people,” I said, a bit sharply. I get defensive about tit her, even though she is a nuisance. “Some days she's more with it than me. She's just old. You might be like that when you're old.” “I'd shoot myself first.” “No, you wouldn't. That's what everyone says, but they wouldn't.” Part of the problem in this house is hormones. There are too many undiluted women for tit one small ex-council house. Huge clouds of supercharged estrogen drift about and react, sending showers of sparks into the atmosphere; the air prickles with it. Nan hasn't got any left, of course, although she hung on to hers longer than most (had my mum at forty-six! Didn't realize people even had sex at that age), but I've got more than I know what to do with. Certainly more than my mother knows what to do with. She suspects I have tart DNA (passed on from her, presumably).
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