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beer, blowjobs, health & fitness / women's health, southern california, bollywood news, possible, buck kartalian, chicagoculture, the nzherald, anne semans, big, blondes, music, all blacks, asian teens, | But timothy l. taylor instead I was thinking about why her words didn't mean anything. Maybe she could have told me she loved me. Maybe that is the root of my social phobia, my anxiety panic disorder, and timothy l. taylor why I am such a hollow, emotionless shell. timothy l. taylor (idea) by Citizen Aim (8.2 mon) (print) ? 1 C!Sat Mar 03 2001 at 17:56:31 After running into the bedroom and seeing tears falling off my mother's face, I went to my room. I could hear her in the living room watching the video. I could hear the moans of pleasure. I could hear the moans of heartbreak. I stuffed my head under my pillow and cried. It was a cold November night. My parents had just had their 15-year anniversary earlier that month. My parents didn't separate immediately. I couldn't figure out what was keeping them together. |
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I am sickened by my own humanity, but cry over my lack of it. The future looms like the shadow of a gallows, and my inability to navigate it is my noose. She starts to cry again, telling me she tried to raise me right. She says she screwed up, she didn't do it right, and she's sorry --so sorry. No, I tell her. She was my mother. She did what she could. big I tell her I don't blame her for anything. Anything. Does she know I'm lying? She punishes big herself with guilt as it is; to big tell her I only wanted her to love me would kill her. So I don't say anything. Maybe I have more empathy than I give myself credit for. I make a joke about her sense of humor. She smiles. She says she wishes she had told me how much she loves me. Between sobs, and with a quivering voice, she tells me she loves me so much. She says she wishes she had told me. I almost scream: Then why didn't you? |
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