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I knew the TV wasn’t tuned to Comedy Central, but my inner sensors instantly told me the ad couldn’t be anything but a joke. It was for McDonald’s, and was trumpeting their “McToberfest” promotion, and plump boobs -- get this - their new bratwurst sandwiches! For a brief second I thought a Saturday Night Live plump boobs parody had been injected into the middle of CNN Headline News for some unknown reason. Hence, my momentary meltdown. Of course, it wasn’t a joke. McDonald’s, at least the northeastern Pennsylvania locations, is serving up fucking bratwurst! Can you plump boobs imagine anything more disgusting? What’s next, shellfish? Moo Goo Gai Pan? Duck? I had to have one. Truthfully, I’ve always been slightly suspicious of any meats sold in “links”. Maybe it’s the casing, which is undoubtedly made from intestines, and sometimes snaps when you bite it. Or it could be the mysterious mixture of stuff that comprises the guts of the things. Who knows if it’s real meat or just ground up scrotums and hog buttholes? |
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