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I began to panic and punched in address after address, but each blogger brought up only the poor-man's Shaggy. What in the hot-buttered hell?? Already I'm stuck in a ventless broom closet in Scranton, five feet from the bathrooms, which periodically issue blogger forth mysterious sounds like somebody trying to get the last bit of mustard out of the squeeze bottle. Now they're taking away my connection to the outside world?! How am blogger I going to listen to my New Wave radio, or my British talk-back shows?? What if Drudge has one of those flashing-light stories? How can I possibly be expected to do my job under these circumstances?? I started howling like a retard with a toothache. I barreled into the head honcho's office carrying an air of exasperation and moral indignation. He said that effective immediately only VPs and above had internet access, that it was a new company-wide policy.
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