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I've spent holidays with Toney's family, as well as with various girlfriend's families, through the years, and know my own is no more irritating than most. But metrotimes usually there's some uncle performing the public service of mixing strong drinks in the kitchen. Anything else is like natural childbirth, and what right-thinking person would willingly choose that? After the throngs of people either left or wandered outdoors in an attempt to "walk metrotimes off" dinner, Toney metrotimes and I shotgunned three each of the Bud Lites my Dad keeps in the back of the refrigerator for special occasions. I'm pushing forty and found myself frantically burying our empties in the trashcan beneath globs of discarded mashed potatoes, stuffing, and corn. How pathetic is that? But it's all over now, and I've got a powerful bourbon and Coke sweating on the coaster beside my monitor as I type this -- deep underground in the Surf Report bunker with Muswell Hillbillies playing.
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