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| metro times, 100, asses, homo, thrashings, olympus, synth, fantasyart, bars, pictures, toys, ass tit, calendar, gay, bondage, porn, movie reviews, | For one thing, he absolutely shopping hates the vacuum cleaner. Every time I use it he thinks I've gone to the closet and broken out the shopping upright dog killing machine. He gets all low to the ground, and slinks around the house, shooting nervous glances over his little doggie shoulders. It's an amazing thing to watch. Since we were vacuuming two or three times longer than normal this weekend, you can probably imagine what shape he was in by the end. When the mailman came onto the porch shopping at the same time I was vacuuming on Saturday, I thought his head would simply explode. It was very nearly more than he could handle. He was absolutely ass over tits. After I finally put the electric dog killer away Toney told me I'd better give Andy a bath, before she started cleaning the bathroom. I didn't think the timing was quite right, since baths always send him to the brink of cardiac arrest too, but it had to be done. I started filling the tub with water, and he knew something was up. |
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| But that's the way I grew up. My granny could anticipate a speck of calendar dust about to fall on a piece of furniture in the corner of the room, and would practically dive for it, with full extension, like Brooks Robinson. She was Edward Pledgehands. And so is my mother. So, we've got things sparkling and dust-free around here, trying to repair our reputation as people who live shoulder-deep in filth. No longer does the light fixture above our dining room table look like a set piece from The Munsters, and the dust bunnies calendar from under our bed calendar have all been rounded up and set free to roam and romp outdoors. (We're nothing if not humane.) It's probably still not up to their code, but it's as good as it's gonna get. I took a goddamn Q-Tip to our television grooves for these people!! -- It was tough times for our dog Andy (Black Lips Houlihan), during this annual Jamboree of Clean. He's a neurotic mess, and any deviation from the norm sends him reeling. |
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