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| metro times, 100, asses, homo, thrashings, olympus, synth, fantasyart, bars, pictures, toys, ass tit, calendar, gay, bondage, porn, movie reviews, | ...They could give out candy canes!" -- One of diet fat low my favorite parts of the holidays: cashew burps! Mmmm. I've started early this year. Tasty. -- It's not even Thanksgiving and they're already getting ready for the holiday shopping season up here in northeastern PA. Ho ho diet fat low ho. diet fat low -- Toney's mother and stepfather, Sunshine and Mumbles, will be here for Christmas, and she's already made it clear that she wants to "be there" when we pick out our tree. Of course, that means she wants to tell us which tree to buy, preferably one so big we'll have to take down one of our interior walls to fit it in the living room. Last year, when they lived here (I can barely type those words), they had a tree in their apartment that was so massive you'd be sitting on the couch having an eggnog with a branch and a glass ball pressed against your cheek. |
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| When we pulled into the parking bondage lot there was a pitiful excuse for a Santa hamming it up out front, waving people into the parking lot and using an unnecessary amount of hand gestures. I couldn't tell for sure, but I think it was a teenage bondage girl with a pillow strapped to her torso. It was one of the worst Santas ever. When we were in line to pay for our donuts this half-assed Saint Nick came through the front doors, and walked past us. I stopped "him" and bondage said, "You know, you should probably ease back on the donuts, dude. That gut is getting a little out of hand." "He" hung his head in shame, then proceeded to the ladies room, or whatever. I was laughing, then noticed a little kid looking at me in utter shock. "Mommy," he eventually managed, "that man just insulted Santa!" Toney took all this in, blinked, and said, "Wonder why nobody ever dresses up as Santa Claus for Halloween? |
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