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| hobby photography, first, smarty, black, pornstar galleries, selected, pregnant, celebrities, online newspapers, kids, cartoon picture, mature babes, new, | Being the sentimentalist that I am, I was at the grocery store frantically pawing through their pitiful birthday card selection late Friday night, cursing and sweating profusely because I'd almost forgotten. Again. I'm like a sitcom detroit cliche of a husband, I swear. The laziness, the buffoonery, the belching... it's all there. Because of my unique detroit attributes, I've learned that there are few things more depressing than off-brand greeting cards. Even with the Rolls Royce of cards, Hallmark or whatever, the attempts detroit at humor are pretty feeble. But when you buy your cards in a grocery store at midnight, marketed directly to the desperate and pathetic, it's far worse. Jokes about sagging tits, candles causing house fires, penises with no life left in them... |
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| but they're hard workers. Lumpers are the Ugly American's best friend. The neighbors here were probably shaking their heads in disgust at our naive little blanket strategy. When I think back on it, I wonder how we even came up with such a scheme. I think we may have seen it on new television, I'm not sure. Probably a commercial about vaginal dryness or something. But we've got it down to a science now, Jack. We're leaf raking machines. All that's left is for us new to learn how to suddenly new slam on our brakes on interstate entrance ramps for no apparent reason, and to say "a cuppa two tree" instead of "a few", and we'll be full-blown Scrantonians. -- It was also Toney's thirty-seventh birthday on Saturday. |
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