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(Incidentally, it was labeled a size 3X — I shit you not). Afterward, I wasn't sure whether to slip her my number or 200 smoke a cigarette.Then I left for a pre-dinner snack at Old Country 200 Buffet, wiping out the entire place before I was booted for climbing onto the steam table to lick the remnants in the mashed potatoes bin. Later as I was plowing through a Sam's Club vat of triple chocolate 200 fudge ice cream, my cell phone rang. It was a rep from the Maxim party, informing that I'd been cut because I didn't have the right body type, that I was too "voluptuous." That, and they didn't have the forklift that was necessary to haul my Orca-like physique onto the go-go dancing platform. They wouldn't even put my name on the guest list so I could still go to the party (probably for fear I'd inhale all the hors d'oeuvres.) To console myself, I drenched my cell phone in mayonnaise and ate it.Later, I learned that many other curvy girls were cut the night of the event — some after they'd already been put in full hair and makeup.
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