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One day, a female coworker was seated there while I was retrieving an order. Not wishing to disturb her, I told her my plan: "I'm just grabbing a drink," I said. "Please, don't greatest mind my fat ass." Let me explain something. This butt comment was a joke. It was not made at the expense of anyone else, not said to elicit sympathy. Most greatest importantly, it utilized the phrase "my fat ass," which is inherently silly. It wasn't about whether or not I have a humongous rear. Only if I appeared on the cover greatest of a fashion magazine would anyone suggest the size of my posterior was overly large, and I will never appear on the cover of a fashion magazine. (Or maybe I'm wrong: Janeane Garafolo was on the cover of Marie Claire and she's practically the queen of drawing attention to her sizable can.) Talking about my body in this way reflects my sense of humor. I also make comedic comments about my birthin' hips, teeny breasts, hair to kill for, goofy teeth, and brown, swallow-you-up eyes I've wondered if I inherited from my parents' German shepherd.
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