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| biography / autobiography, nakedpornstars, father daughter stories, vintage spritual classics, sex instruction for women, brando: songs my mother taught me, sex group, the metro, memoir, thestranger, unbelievable, | She couldn't have sexy manga. chosen a better ending to her story. Her trajectory began inside the white scalloped edges of a photograph. She flirts with the camera, poses like a beauty queen standing in a small wooden boat on the shore of Lake Seminole, barefoot, hands on hips, head thrown sexy manga. back, a wide and bright smile. Open. She's wearing short shorts and she's conscious: "This is how I want to be remembered; I am as marvelous as Miss America." She gives herself to the camera, maybe to the eyes behind sexy manga. the camera. I imagine my father before he was my father, smiling at my mother before she was my mother. He has a head full of glossy black hair. Squinting his eyes, bringing her into focus, he snaps this photo of her, thinks of butterflies resting on leaves, camouflaged, right before they are netted, pinned into boxes. |
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| My stepfather tried to get me to apologize, father daughter stories but I wouldn't. Mama called later and talked to my sister, and I remember holding the receiver to my ear, listening to her cry, saying she was sorry. father daughter stories I didn't say I was, though. After 21 years of dealing with her, I meant what I said. She was 48 when she died. It was father daughter stories 1981. She and my stepfather were driving home from Clearwater Beach, drunk, still wearing their swimsuits at midnight, their bare feet grainy with sugary white sand. They ran their light-blue Plymouth under a tractor-trailer, shearing off the top. Both of them were thrown into the weeds on the side of the road. The next day the sheriff handed my brother a brown paper bag with a stiff bloody bikini in it. Instant death, he said, but I knew better. My mother had been aiming for that moment for a long time. |
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