I don't spend a sexuality chicagosun times
tattoo, patients, newspaper, dildo sex, hairy pussy, 8th street latina, tennis, sucking, adolescent health, chicago events, life, asian, public affairs, restaurants, incredible, chicagosun times, scared straight!, pornstar, bookstores, I want to say that not only do I get stuck in identification with my mother, but also I must in some sense embrace sexuality that identification, sexuality not reject it, in order to be a whole person. When I write "I can't cut her out of me without dying," I mean that so much of what I am comes from my mother sexuality that I cannot get rid of everything in which I am like my mother without destroying my self, just as I can't change myself so I don't look like her. I don't know the psychology literature well enough to know what are the key statements of the idea, but I do know that there is a discussion of how women don't separate from their mothers the same way men separate from their parents. I think that that "normal" lack of separation is, in part, what I am caught on. There is a sense in which I feel "I am her" that I think is more fundamental than the general phenomenon of identification with an abuser. I came from her body, I have a body like hers, I have so many of the same features and tendencies both inherited and learned.
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I don't spend a chicagosun times lot of time with my mother or talk to her often--at chicagosun times this point it is her-in-me I am bound to, not the real outside person. When I write that I cannot cut her out without dying, I am, in part, expressing the dilemma of the child abused by an adult on whom she is dependent--the child could not reject the abuser because the child cannot survive without that person (for more on this read Jennifer J. Freyd, Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse ). It is easy for outsiders to chicagosun times see that childhood dependence, and also the well-known phenomenon by which prisoners can identify with their captors, as reasons why it is difficult for me to reject my mother or be angry at her for the abuse. Some people do finally choose to reject completely mothers who have abused them. But for myself, I want to say something different and perhaps in a subtle way more radical.
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