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They said lots of nice things and wished me all the best. They asked a lot of questions, such as "how did you feel when you were told you were HIV-positive?". I told them that although I knew the difference between living with HIV and living with Aids, I still couldn't help thinking drama that I would die the next day and that I wouldn't be able to be a mother to my son, that I had let him down by getting myself infected. I told them how I was scared in case I cut myself drama and saw my own drama blood and about how I didn't want anyone touching me because I was angry with myself. First this was because I was scared - then it became the norm to keep my physical distance from people. I told them how I stopped expressing my sexuality and about how I started to do so again once I had found someone who made me feel alive and secure - using protection, of course. And I talked about how it feels to have renewed healthy, pleasurable control again over my body - using a condom, because I know I have to use one, or never have sex again.
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