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Do you have a lot of unfinished directors business directors with directors your mother? Or did her death resolve things for you? My mother's death ended a lot of the suffering I'd undergone, but because we never talked about her drinking (she never once admitted to having a problem with alcohol), I still wish sometimes that I could have told her honestly how I felt. It wouldn't have done much good, though. She would have berated me viciously for saying anything. My mother, and her whole birth family, are the world's most proficient secret-keepers. My grandfather was an alcoholic, but no one in the family ever even said the word. My mother's alcoholic brother sexually abused my sister and me, but my mother pretended not to believe us when we told her, and actually said we were lying and trying to get her brother in trouble. (He's since personally apologized to us as part of his own recovery.)
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