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I sensed within the community mothers and daughters a caring I hadn't seen before. It took the form of the AIDS Action Committee in Boston. I started as a volunteer there in 1983 or 1984. mothers and daughters I witnessed so much loving and caring between caregivers and people who were infected that I was envious. I've always been looking for a community that is nurturing, caring, and inclusive. But I wasn't infected. I didn't think I was. I didn't know. I used to think I needed to get love and affection by being sick. I don't believe that anymore. I've come to realize mothers and daughters that a lot of the people I thought were giving love to the infected early on were in many ways fulfilling their own needs rather than taking care of others. It was creepy in a way. There was a time when my relationship with people who were ill was creepy too. I really wanted to save them. When I think back to two men that had AIDS very early on, I remember being at one person's bedside at the hospital, to give him foot massages, clear his throat, and so forth.
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