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"Not as well as mutual masturbation." "Mom, seriously. Contraception. Please buy it for me." Then my dad came in and my mom said to him; "We have a girl here who wants to become sexually active." Dad: "Has she ever heard of mutual masturbation?" Me: "yes" Dad: "Mutual masturbation is a great tool to prevent pregnancy and STDs." Me: "I know". Dad: "Mutual masturbation enhances intimacy between partners." raw material Mom: "And opens up the lines of sexual communication." Dad: "Mutual masturbation helps a couple learn raw material more about what they want..." Mom: raw material "Sexually." Me: "We want sex... sexually. That's why I need the condoms." Dad: "Mutual masturbation is a non-invasive way to achieve orgasm." Mom: "you've had orgasms, right?" Me: "yes, and now I would like some via intercourse." Mom&Dad: (laughter) Me: "What?" Dad: "Mutual masturbation is a non-invasive, risk-free way to achieve orgasm." |
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