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| outrageous, fiction, 1948, hot, dave chamberlain, handjob, united states, writing, big, pro choice, chicago events, chicago street fairs, hooter, arresteddevelopment, group sex, | I looked over and she was on the phone. When masturbation I tried to kiss my date goodnight she pushed me away. I said "Is there someone else?" She said "There must be". When I was a kid, I asked my Mother for a Bubble Bath, so she brought the water to a boil! When my wife has sex with me there's always a reason. The other night she used me to time an masturbation egg. With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. masturbation Now, we'll never see each other! With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me... With my wife, I've got no sex life. The dog keeps watching me in the bedroom so he can learn how to sit up and beg. |
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| He said okay, you're ugly too. My uncle's dying wish: he wanted me on his lap. He hot was in the electric chair. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage hot out. I said to her I already did. She told hot me to go and keep an eye on it. My wife isn't too smart. She has to reach inside her bra to count to two. My wife is ugly. She's so ugly that when you look up ugly in the dictionary, there's her picture. My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. That's the story of my life, no respect, ya know? The other night I told my kid "Someday, you'll have children of your own. He said "So will you." The other night I woke up and my wife was saying sexy things. |
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