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Because, she said, there was no way she and my father could have created something so perfect and beautiful and pure. My mother had always felt like the world owed her. Now, she insisted, it owed us. I didn't want to steal; my father had told me it was wrong. "Well, where's 1000 your father now?" she 1000 demanded, 1000 and shoved me, in a little blazer with the tags shoved up into my wrists, towards the Ames exit while she distracted the clerk. We left restaurants without paying, fled nasty landlords who rudely demanded back rent. We slept in the same bed. She told me everything — the two times she'd tried to masturbate (with a hot dog and a cucumber), the one time she'd tried to give a blowjob (to my father, and she threw up after). All her thoughts and dreams and philosophies. So many times we'd remain sitting in the car listening to the engine click and sigh, still talking as the sky grew dark, reluctant to open our creaky doors and break the spell.
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