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| essay, swingers, large type books, steppenwolf, hairy, chicago alternative weekly, closet, stranger, chicagosun times, e books & docs, mothering, leisure, bookseller, weather, gyrls, miscellaneous, lesbian dildo, nevernude, grassroots media, for sale, naked, stories, movies, | They ran their light-blue Plymouth under a tractor-trailer, shearing off the top. Both of them were thrown into the weeds on the side of the road. The next day the pokemon sheriff handed my brother a brown paper bag with a stiff bloody bikini in it. pokemon Instant death, he said, but I knew pokemon better. My mother had been aiming for that moment for a long time. She couldn't have chosen a better ending to her story. Her trajectory began inside the white scalloped edges of a photograph. She flirts with the camera, poses like a beauty queen standing in a small wooden boat on the shore of Lake Seminole, barefoot, hands on hips, head thrown back, a wide and bright smile. Open. She's wearing short shorts and she's conscious: "This is how I want to be remembered; I am as marvelous as Miss America." She gives herself to the camera, maybe to the eyes behind the camera. |
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| Or that she killed him, and then killed herself. My last words to her were grassroots media "Fuck you." The day before she died was the first time my family had gotten grassroots media together since my father died the year before. We met at my brother's house in Orlando, and although things started out OK, by the end of the evening Mama started up grassroots media her usual shit, and I, tired of it all, said the magic words. My stepfather tried to get me to apologize, but I wouldn't. Mama called later and talked to my sister, and I remember holding the receiver to my ear, listening to her cry, saying she was sorry. I didn't say I was, though. After 21 years of dealing with her, I meant what I said. She was 48 when she died. It was 1981. She and my stepfather were driving home from Clearwater Beach, drunk, still wearing their swimsuits at midnight, their bare feet grainy with sugary white sand. |
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