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| essay, swingers, large type books, steppenwolf, hairy, chicago alternative weekly, closet, stranger, chicagosun times, e books & docs, mothering, leisure, bookseller, weather, gyrls, miscellaneous, lesbian dildo, nevernude, grassroots media, for sale, naked, stories, movies, | Love her, that is, even if he did forget her birthday later. Once, he did remember, and he hurt her feelings by buying her one pair of flimsy ladies pissing underwear from the Dollar Store uptown and she wailed that nobody loved her, then threw pissing the underwear in the garbage can beneath our pecan tree. But you can tell he loved her pissing by looking at this photograph, the way his arm circles her, the way he holds her hand. She lets herself be contained, lets him whisper in her ear. This time the camera is peeping; Mama seems almost embarrassed at being watched; her eyes glance toward the ground. Then there was a photograph taken after Mama had children. May 1962. That's three years after my sister was born. Four children in five years and all of a sudden she's wearing shoes, like she's afraid we're going to tramp on her feet. |
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| I imagine my father before he was my father, smiling at my mother before she was my mother. He has a head full for sale of glossy black hair. Squinting his eyes, bringing her for sale into focus, he snaps this photo of her, thinks of butterflies resting on leaves, camouflaged, right before they are netted, pinned into boxes. In the next photo, she and my father are leaning against an enormous pine tree near the banks of the Apalachicola River, right on the Georgia-Florida line. He's wearing shoes, thick brown brogans. She for sale isn't. Her long slender feet are posed calendar-girl style. Daddy surrounds her with a bearlike grasp, his arm draped over her shoulder, his big hand pulling her to him. He smooches her ear with his mouth, whispering, "Baby, I love you, I love you so much." I can't remember my father's voice saying those words to my mother, but I know he did. |
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