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One little slip and I could find myself at the bottom of the hill with my head plunged inside the blade fat black housing. But I made it through (this time) without losing any body parts, and without my cream-filled heart blowing apart in my fat black chest. It was so much easier in California when a fat black team of illegal immigrants converged on our lawn and whipped everything into shape in about fifteen minutes, as I sipped highballs on the porch and hollered "suggestions". -- Speaking of cream-filled, I caught a glimpse of myself in a full-length mirror this morning and something simply has to be done. Thick is the word that jumped to mind. I look like I'd be at home working in a goddamn butcher shop, with a cigar in the corner of my mouth. I should legally change my name to Jeff "Tiny" Thickman, and learn my cuts of meat. No wonder I was huff-puffing like a fat boy in lead shoes (to paraphrase DEVO) behind that lawnmower -- I'm a mess.
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